“Mr & Mrs FREUD: in love … but still playing psychological games” by Adrian Gabriel Dumitru is a thought-provoking exploration of love, relationships, and the psychological complexities that accompany them. Written by an author who openly wrestles with the contradictory nature of love, this book offers readers a collection of essays that blend personal experience, deep analysis, and an almost existential quest to understand why we behave the way we do in love.
The author’s relationship with the concept of love is deeply ambivalent, a tension that provides the book with its intellectual and emotional depth. Having published 20 books on the subject, the writer swears off writing about love multiple times, only to be irresistibly drawn back to it. This oscillation mirrors the very nature of love itself—both alluring and destructive, comforting and confounding.
The use of Freud as a metaphorical guide throughout the essays is particularly intriguing. The reference to “Mr. and Mrs. Freud” symbolizes the rational mind trying to make sense of the irrational behaviors often seen in relationships. The book delves into the paradoxes of love, asking why intelligent people act foolishly when in love, and why even those with psychological insight fail to apply their knowledge in personal relationships.
What sets this book apart from typical love essays is the depth of psychological observation. The author isn’t merely interested in romantic love but also in the “games” and “nonsense” couples engage in, often leading to unnecessary heartbreak. This critical lens offers readers a new way of understanding the dynamics that ruin even the most loving of relationships.
The essays are not conclusive—there is no grand solution to the riddle of love. Instead, the book serves as an ongoing investigation, with the author continually asking “why.” Why do we hurt those we love? Why do people play psychological games in love? And why, despite these destructive tendencies, does love remain so irresistible?
Ultimately, “Mr & Mrs FREUD: in love … but still playing psychological games” is a refreshing and candid exploration of a topic as old as time. For readers who enjoy diving deep into the psychology of love and relationships, this book offers rich insights, poignant observations, and the freedom to question the mysteries of love alongside the author. While it may not provide answers, it certainly sparks profound reflection.
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We were lucky enough to ask the author a few questions.
1. Why do you believe that love, despite being a concept you often critique, continues to captivate you and inspire your writing?
“I feel very attracted by the concept itself. I think is all a reflection of my addiction in front of duality.
So … I continue writing about love.”
2. After promising yourself to stop writing about love, what prompted you to return to the topic and explore it further?
“The Universe laughed of me behind my back … sending me from one love story … to another.
And … even if i thought … i was safe … the illusion continue.
With someone else.
But … almost the same hollywoodian love story scenario.”
3. What do you find most intriguing about the way people in love behave, especially when their actions seem counterproductive to maintaining that love?
“I think the main meaning of a love story is to teach us … what is love.
And … not really knowing what it is … we end up acting weirdly.
Contradictory.
Idiotic.
Some … learn something … but many times …. When is already too late.
All looking in fact … like a psychological game.”
4. In your analysis of couples, why do you think even the most intelligent people engage in behaviors that undermine their relationships?
“Because we are dominated by the nonsense.
We say we love … but we hurt … we betray … doing all the time contradictory things “
5. How do you reconcile your awareness of love’s potential to harm with your continued passion for writing about it?
“I write … as a self therapy process.
But … today I’ve learned to be more detached into the love story.
And … all became much easier.
Less harmful for my soul.
The love story itself … i see it as the fuel … for my inspiration.”
6. What psychological or emotional patterns have you noticed in couples that lead them from love to hate, and why do you think this transition happens so easily?
“It is all reflecting into the betrayal.
In all its forms.
From flirting … cheating … but also coming with lots of negative influences into the relationship … as an abstract tendency of ruining all.”
7. Despite your extensive exploration of love in your writing, do you feel closer to finding an answer to the question of why people engage in such destructive behaviors within love stories?
“We don’t know … how to be really opened … one with the other.
Speak.
Discuss all.
Say what we want.
What we expect.
Or … what we don’t like.
And … especially … what we’ve experienced and don’t want to experience again.”